Like Sands Through the Hourglass....yadda, yadda, yadda

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Mood: not sure, really
Music: none at the moment

Wow - time really does get away from me! I swear a week goes by in a blink, and it's not because I'm busy. It's mostly because one day looks very much like any other! My life is a run-on sentence, punctuated here and there by board meetings (twice a month), pediatrician appointments (once every 3 months), and weekends, when I notice this guy I seem to remember marrying hanging around.

I was going to write on Sunday about this ...well, epiphany of sorts, but I got so wrapped up in the experience that I forgot to write about it. So here is the delayed version, even though I might not be able to capture the wonder in quite the same way.

We had painted the porch and done a lot of work on the flower bed in front of the house. For Mother's Day, I was treated to whatever plants I wanted to complete the overall project. I chose two very large hanging baskets: a fuschia and some phlox hybrid that smells heavenly. I also chose a large hibiscus in a pot and a small plant called "Ace of Spades" that I planted in a hanging basket I had at the house already. We hung up the plants, potted the ace of spades, tucked the hibiscus into a spot where it wouldn't get tipped over, pulled a couple of stray weeds, and watered everything.

It was mid-evening, and the sun was hanging about six inches over the horizon. The play of light and shadow was just gorgeous. I stood back to take a look at the overall effect of the garden and freshly-painted porch. It was just SO perfect, I was stunned. And then I thought, "We did this?" It was amazing to me that we had created such a pleasant and inviting area, because, while we were doing each stage of it, there was no hint that it would be so incredibly beautiful! It's like that (warning: the following contains geeky references) game that Vulcans play -darned if I remember the name, I want to say Kalto - it's the one with all the sticks, and when you get it right, this bunch of little sticks forms itself into polyhedral shape. It's all Spatial Harmonics, but in essence, that's what happened with the front of my house. It's like we put in the last thing and POOF! Beautiful harmony!

And in the midst of all this perfection, I began to count my blessings, and take stock of how truly beautiful life can be. It was a moment of utter contentment. I wasn't worrying about bills. I wasn't feeling frustrated with the kids. I was counting my blessings and feeling like the richest person in the world, standing right there in my own front yard.

Feeling this happy and content and positive is unusual for me. Far too many bad things happened to me in youth, and the world lost its wonder and shine a loooonnnng time ago. It's so wonderful now to finally be able to heal from some of that enough to begin seeing the beauty in life again!

Now, I'm not going to kid myself. The shine of that moment is already wearing off. The ugliness of life is asserting itself again. But it's nice to have the picture in my heart of that front garden to take out and look at when I'm feeling overwhelmed.

Like today.


ZiPpo said...

Allow yourself to see "through the eyes of a child" the beauty and wonder that surrounds you. Thanks for painting that wonderful picture of your handiwork. I was quite refreshing … now for the Vulcan Mind-meld!

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