Sunny spring day
Beautiful cliche'
My shadow was right behind me.
The birds were scattered
The peace was shattered
My shadow would not mind me.
"Go away" I said
It shook its head
My shadow began to bind me.
I struggled, I screamed
Not enough it seemed
My shadow was able to take me.
Horrified, confused
Ashamed and used
My shadow continued to break me.
Trapped here in hell
The girl in the shell
My shadow will eventually make me.
(c) SapphireSoul 2006
My Meager Poetry: Impressions
Coolness.
The murky deep water
The fish in the shallows
Sunlight on eroded rocks
Brightness.
Blazing white light
Bright green grass
A boulder in the sunshine
Hotness.
Warm stone against my skin
The breath upon my neck
Threats spoken in my ear
Darkness.
Held down in the dirt
His body blocks the sun
Demons hunt me in the night
(c) SapphireSoul 2006
The murky deep water
The fish in the shallows
Sunlight on eroded rocks
Brightness.
Blazing white light
Bright green grass
A boulder in the sunshine
Hotness.
Warm stone against my skin
The breath upon my neck
Threats spoken in my ear
Darkness.
Held down in the dirt
His body blocks the sun
Demons hunt me in the night
(c) SapphireSoul 2006
Labels:
Writing
My Meager Poetry: Untitled
*****DISCLAIMER: Before y'all go jumpin' off the deep end over this one, I have to say this. I am depressed. Therefore I have a dark outlook right now. But suicide takes something I don't have: guts, motivation, and ambition. So chill, relax, read, and enjoy a walk into the more surreal side of my head.*****
Loosening the moorings
Slipping the knots
Weigh the anchors
Quiet my thoughts
Ironic that peace comes
When you're saying goodbye
To a life filled with pain
And terror, and 'why?'
The taxes need filing
Hope they water my plant
Give them strength to cope
Because I just can't
I don't want to be here
It's as simple as that.
So raise my kids
And take care of my cat.
Don't take it personally
It's not about you
I'm tired of fighting
It's what I want to do
But like anything else
I want to achieve
I lack ambition
and I've earned no reprieve.
(c) SapphireSoul 2006 (Don't steal this - go get your own misery to write about)
Loosening the moorings
Slipping the knots
Weigh the anchors
Quiet my thoughts
Ironic that peace comes
When you're saying goodbye
To a life filled with pain
And terror, and 'why?'
The taxes need filing
Hope they water my plant
Give them strength to cope
Because I just can't
I don't want to be here
It's as simple as that.
So raise my kids
And take care of my cat.
Don't take it personally
It's not about you
I'm tired of fighting
It's what I want to do
But like anything else
I want to achieve
I lack ambition
and I've earned no reprieve.
(c) SapphireSoul 2006 (Don't steal this - go get your own misery to write about)
Labels:
Writing
Yahoo Widgets and other ramblings
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Ok, I know everyone else has probably already found Yahoo Widgets, but a friend just pointed them out to me, and I've spent the last few hours playing with them. The poor cat has been doing the potty dance and singing the Meow Mix song for at least an hour, and I keep telling him "just let me grab this widget"...but that turns into two more, then three. I'm sure he'll leave me an indicator of just how he feels about that, too.
So how're the New Year's resolutions coming? *smirk* Oh, I'll be the last person to give anyone a hard time about it. I didn't even make any resolutions this year. I figured it would be pointless to kid myself and would likely only feed the self-loathing beast when I failed. *shrug*
I know I'm not the most regular blogger out there. My posts are hit and mostly miss. I guess I just don't see the point of posting if I don't have anything to say. Unless, of course, when I post out of guilt for not posting for so long and I ramble on about nothing (like today). Not that anyone cares. I've seen some of the daily bloggers, and writing just to fill that day's space is a waste. But nobody seems to care as long as they post daily. I imagine I could write a blog about various shapes of mouse droppings and if I posted daily, I would likely end up with an audience. That's just sad.
Speaking of writing, I finally wrote down one of the incidents of abuse in (very) short story form. It had nagged and nagged me all day until I sat down at the computer and began to type. To get it out, I had to use the third person and resize the window so I could only see half a page and two lines. But I did it! Then I maximized the window, read what I'd written, and sat there crying. And once the tears ran out, there was a hollow spot where that small piece of pain had been. Something about putting what had been a memory of sound and image and putting it into stark words made it inescapable. More solid. It demanded that I acknowledge it. That one small incident is free now, though. It is no longer trapped inside me, shredding my soul with its claws. The spot it occupied is healing; there is a tiny seed of peace in its place that I hope takes permanent root. *soft smile*
On a lighter note, I called my mother tonight and held the phone out so she could hear the chaos she has inflicted upon my household. Little Man was running in circles around the living room with this little toy lawnmower Mom got him for xmas. The thing is noisy even without the sound, its monster-like mouth 'gobbling' the grass with a plastic chatter. Some wise guy who couldn't have had kids decided it would be great if the damned thing talked, too. *rolling eyes* So here was my son creating more noise with that one toy than the TV and his sisters could make combined. I told Mom that the next time she gets him something like that, leave the batteries out and toss in a bottle of Excedrin for me!
Oh, and Grandma, if you can hear me in the great cosmic beyond...I've been dreaming of your house up north a lot lately. Can you be a little more specific please?
So how're the New Year's resolutions coming? *smirk* Oh, I'll be the last person to give anyone a hard time about it. I didn't even make any resolutions this year. I figured it would be pointless to kid myself and would likely only feed the self-loathing beast when I failed. *shrug*
I know I'm not the most regular blogger out there. My posts are hit and mostly miss. I guess I just don't see the point of posting if I don't have anything to say. Unless, of course, when I post out of guilt for not posting for so long and I ramble on about nothing (like today). Not that anyone cares. I've seen some of the daily bloggers, and writing just to fill that day's space is a waste. But nobody seems to care as long as they post daily. I imagine I could write a blog about various shapes of mouse droppings and if I posted daily, I would likely end up with an audience. That's just sad.
Speaking of writing, I finally wrote down one of the incidents of abuse in (very) short story form. It had nagged and nagged me all day until I sat down at the computer and began to type. To get it out, I had to use the third person and resize the window so I could only see half a page and two lines. But I did it! Then I maximized the window, read what I'd written, and sat there crying. And once the tears ran out, there was a hollow spot where that small piece of pain had been. Something about putting what had been a memory of sound and image and putting it into stark words made it inescapable. More solid. It demanded that I acknowledge it. That one small incident is free now, though. It is no longer trapped inside me, shredding my soul with its claws. The spot it occupied is healing; there is a tiny seed of peace in its place that I hope takes permanent root. *soft smile*
On a lighter note, I called my mother tonight and held the phone out so she could hear the chaos she has inflicted upon my household. Little Man was running in circles around the living room with this little toy lawnmower Mom got him for xmas. The thing is noisy even without the sound, its monster-like mouth 'gobbling' the grass with a plastic chatter. Some wise guy who couldn't have had kids decided it would be great if the damned thing talked, too. *rolling eyes* So here was my son creating more noise with that one toy than the TV and his sisters could make combined. I told Mom that the next time she gets him something like that, leave the batteries out and toss in a bottle of Excedrin for me!
Oh, and Grandma, if you can hear me in the great cosmic beyond...I've been dreaming of your house up north a lot lately. Can you be a little more specific please?
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